With the easing of lockdown restrictions across the world, people are turning back to online dating. Depending on where in the world you are, you can visit bars and restaurants again.
Even if the pubs aren’t open near you, you may be thinking about swiping again. You’ll hopefully have several guys to choose from when the high street fully re-opens.
So how do you improve your chances? Even though we’ve now moved firmly into summer, you can still give your profile a spring clean!
Check out these dos and don’ts for what should and shouldn’t be on your profile.
And stick around because we’ve got an online dating secret weapon that you won’t see on other websites.
Do Include These Things on your Profile
We know that writing a dating profile is hard. Choosing the right photos can be a nightmare. Does this photo make you look older? Heavier? Is that photo a good picture but it’s too out-of-date?
If you’re struggling to get it right, start off with these 6 dos.
Say What You’re Looking For
Some people don’t specify what they want in case they put people off. They either say they’re “looking to see what’s out there”, or they don’t mention it at all.
Can I let you in on a secret? You can ignore the dating advice to keep it vague.
If someone is put off by the fact you want a serious relationship? Then they weren’t the person for you.
Think of your profile as the opportunity to repel as many of the wrong ones as you can. That leaves you free to pick from people who are much more compatible with you.
So if you want a serious relationship, say so. If you only want no-strings-attached fun, then specify that too.
And make sure you pay attention to what other people say they’re looking for.
Pose a Question
Sick of those “Hi, how’s it going?” first messages? Why not give potential matches something more interesting to open with?
Ask an icebreaker question on your profile. It can be deep and meaningful, or something silly and light-hearted.
I ask guys what superpower they want and why. The answers tell me so much about their personality and values!
If people don’t answer the question, it does also indicate they didn’t read the profile. So how interested can they really be?
Include a Range of Photos
We don’t like to admit that humans are visually-minded. But people want to see what you look like.
When you see a profile with a single photo, it looks suspicious. It can make you wonder if the person is truly who they say they are. Even the most camera-shy person can take a couple of selfies!
A good rule of thumb is to include: a good head-and-shoulders shot, a full-length shot, and an ‘action’ shot. Even if you only include those three photos, they show enough range to let potential matches know what you look like.
Which leads us onto…
Photos of your Interests
It’s one thing to talk about your interests, but it’s another to show them off! You can’t guarantee anyone will read your profile but they will look at your photos.
So if you have photos of you doing something related to a hobby or interest? Include it. It’s a great way to catch the attention of someone who also has the same interest.
It shows them that you’ve got things in common and have things you can do together. These photos also show that you have a life outside of your day job. Remember, you’re inviting someone to share your life. Make sure it’s a life worth sharing.
Dating apps can sometimes feel like a sea of faces. Looking like you ‘fit in’ with the cool people can mean you get lost in the crowd.
So don’t be afraid to show off your personality. Let people get a glimpse of what you’re like, or what they’re in for if they spend time with you.
You’ll form an attraction based on how a person looks. But you’ll form a connection based on their personality. Let yours shine and it’ll be your biggest asset.
There’s nothing worse than meeting someone who seemed promising online…only to find he doesn’t look like his photos. Or he said he was 6ft tall and he’s clearly only 5ft 6.
This goes for your whole profile. Don’t use photos from ten years ago – use pictures that represent how you look now. (And it goes without saying – don’t use photos with those ‘cute’ Snapchat filters on them!)
The same goes for your bio. Be honest about everything. Your height, your job, your qualifications – everything.
Now, I’m not saying “tell him everything” on your bio. But make sure whatever you do say is the truth.
Don’t Include These Things on your Profile
If you have included these things on your profile, that’s okay! It can be hard to know what you should and shouldn’t include. But we recommend getting rid of these 6 things from your profile…
You must know how annoying it is when you land on a profile and each of the six photos is a group shot. It feels like Where’s Wally trying to spot who’s in all of the images.
You might be trying to show potential dates that you’re fun, outgoing, and sociable. But it also looks like you’re trying to hide how you look.
Either blur out the other faces or just keep a couple of them and add photos of you instead.
Photos With An Ex
This looks really weird. Yes, people on dating apps know you’ve dated others before. But why would you show them off?
It’s so easy to take photos on a smartphone. If the best photos of you include an ex? Take new ones.
I once came across a guy who was using his wedding photos on his profile. Thankfully, he was divorced, but it looked really weird. It also gave the impression that he wasn’t quite over the ex.
Photos Of Your Children
It’s worth mentioning that you have kids in the text on your profile. It might put some people off and being upfront about it means neither of you wastes each other’s time.
But don’t feel compelled to put photos of them on your profile. You don’t know who’s looking at your profile. Sad to say, but not everyone on dating sites is a legitimate prospect.
Your COVID-19 Status
We’ve got a whole article about why you shouldn’t include your COVID-19 status on your profile.
That also goes for other health conditions. Remember that you do need to keep a degree of privacy on these sites.
Save discussions about mental health or other conditions for when you’re more confident they’re a genuine person.
We know it’s difficult to fit your entire personality, preferences, and quirks into a dating profile. But don’t resort to keeping it vague so you can keep your options option.
Cliches fall into their category too. The most obvious cliche is people who say they love going out, but they also enjoy a night in with a bottle of wine.
Stop sitting on the fence! If you hedge your bets like that, you look like you don’t know what you’re looking for.
That might put off people who would have been good matches because you seem too vague. It leaves you with too many incompatible matches to wade through. All because you didn’t give them a way to disqualify themselves.
Ditch the Passive-Aggression
We’ve all seen profiles that say things like “No liars or cheats please”. Or “Swipe left if you’ve got no sense of humour or you can’t take banter”.
It doesn’t leave you feeling good about the person, does it?
Doing it yourself shows others you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ve been hurt before – and it shows. Take it off your profile, or work on healing yourself before you start dating again.
What about the secret weapon we mentioned?
This post has focused on what you should put on your profile, and what you should delete!
But what if there was a way that you could look at a dating profile and know what the person was like? If you could ‘read’ the clues in their photos and spot a narcissist, a stalker-in-waiting, or a sex offender? (We’re not being melodramatic – sites like Tinder and OkCupid know sex offenders are on there, but they don’t remove them)
Or if you could look at a profile and know this guy was the exact right person for you?
There is a way – and we’re proud to announce the next live session of Online Dating with the Deductionist happens on Sunday 28 June 2020!
In this interactive, 2-hour masterclass, Ben Cardall (the real-life Sherlock Holmes) will teach you how to read an online dating profile like the great detective himself.
You’ll learn valuable skills you can put into practice as soon as you get off the call.
Imagine how it’ll feel to never waste a swipe or a message again. To know the person you’re talking to is a real person and not a scammer. To have full confidence that your children will be safe around him.
That’s what you’ll get by attending Online Dating with the Deductionist!
Click here to secure your place right now.