How to Heal From Betrayal, Cheaters, Manipulators, and Liars
Betrayal changes you.
The lies. The cheating. The manipulation. It shatters your trust—not just in others, but in yourself. Suddenly, you find yourself questioning everything:
“How did I not see this coming?”
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
“Will I ever trust again without getting hurt?”
If you’ve asked yourself these questions, know this: you are not alone. Research shows that approximately 20% of men and 13% of women admit to infidelity during marriage, while UK studies suggest that 25.4% of men and 18.3% of women have been unfaithful at least once in committed relationships.
But while betrayal leaves scars, it doesn’t have to define your future. Like Sarah—one of my clients—you can break free from the pain, identify the hidden patterns keeping you stuck, and step into a love life that feels secure, safe, and aligned.
This blog will walk you through:
Why we repeat painful patterns.
How to start healing.
What healthy love actually looks like.
Practical steps to move forward now.
Ready to take your first step? Let’s begin.
Sarah’s Story: Breaking Free From Repeating Patterns
Sarah, a brilliant lawyer from London, was thriving in every area of life—except love.
Her last relationship with Alex seemed perfect. He was charming, funny, and exciting. But soon, the lies started to surface, and Sarah discovered the truth: Alex had been unfaithful.
“I felt like a fool,” Sarah told me during our first session. “Why does this keep happening to me? I’m smart—I should’ve seen it.”
Sound familiar?
Sarah’s pain didn’t just come from betrayal—it came from what it made her believe about herself. She began building emotional walls, promising herself no one would ever hurt her like that again. But instead of protecting her, those walls kept her stuck, attracting the same types of unavailable partners.
Her turning point came when she realised: it wasn’t bad luck—it was a pattern.
Sarah’s story is proof that you can break free from painful cycles, rewrite your patterns, and finally experience a love that feels safe and secure.
Here’s how.
Why We Repeat Painful Patterns
Have you ever asked yourself:
“Why am I always drawn to emotionally unavailable partners?”
“Why does chaos or drama feel familiar—even though I hate it?”
The answer often lies in your subconscious mind.
The Role of Childhood Conditioning
As children, we form beliefs about love based on what we see, experience, and feel:
If love felt inconsistent, you may believe chaos = love.
If affection had to be earned, you may over-give to feel “worthy.”
If trust was broken early on, you might subconsciously expect betrayal.
Our brains are wired to seek what feels familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. This is why you might keep attracting the same types of relationships, even when you know they aren’t right for you.
Understanding this is powerful—because once you recognise your patterns, you can begin to rewrite them.
Step 1: Stop Blaming Yourself for Their Choices
When betrayal happens, it’s natural to look inward:
“If I’d been more attractive, fun, or easy-going, they wouldn’t have cheated.”
“This must be my fault.”
But here’s what I need you to know: their actions are not a reflection of your worth.
Cheating, lying, or manipulation often stem from wounds within the other person:
Self-Sabotage: They don’t believe they deserve happiness, so they destroy it.
Commitment Fears: Emotional closeness feels threatening due to unresolved childhood wounds.
Validation-Seeking: They use external attention to mask an internal void.
Their behaviour was their choice—and their responsibility.
Remember, self-blame only deepens the pain. What you need now is self-compassion—to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend.
Step 2: Recognise and Rewrite Your Patterns
To break free from betrayal, you need to address the subconscious patterns keeping you stuck.
Here’s a quick exercise to get you started:
Journaling Prompt:
Think back to a past relationship where you felt hurt or betrayed.
Ask yourself: “What were the red flags I ignored? How did I feel when I ignored the red flags?”
Reflect on what you would do differently now.
This exercise helps you identify the behaviours, beliefs, and blind spots that may have kept you in unhealthy dynamics.
Awareness is the first step to change. Once you see the patterns, you can stop repeating them.
Step 3: Attraction Isn’t Always the Answer
Sarah realised something crucial in her healing journey: attraction isn’t always a sign of compatibility.
That “spark” or intense pull you feel toward someone? It can sometimes be your brain repeating a familiar pattern—chaos, inconsistency, or unavailability—because that’s what you’ve learned love “should” feel like.
Healthy love feels different.
What Does Safe, Healthy Love Feel Like?
Sarah discovered that the kind of love she truly needed was different from what she had experienced before—steady, safe, and deeply fulfilling.
Healthy love feels like this:
Consistency: You don’t have to question where you stand. Their actions match their words.
Emotional Safety: You can be yourself, share your truth, and know it will be received with respect.
Steady Growth: You build something meaningful together, one step at a time.
What does this look like in practice?
They communicate openly and honestly—even during difficult conversations.
They show up for you consistently—not just when it’s convenient.
You feel calm, confident, and secure in their presence.
If this kind of love feels unfamiliar at first, that’s okay—it’s because you’re stepping into a new way of being loved. One that feels aligned, nurturing, and deeply right.
It’s not chaotic, unpredictable, or draining. Instead, it feels like home—safe, steady, and full of possibility.
Step 4: Rebuild Trust—In Yourself
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
When betrayal happens, it doesn’t just damage trust in others—it damages trust in yourself.
To rebuild self-trust:
Listen to Your Intuition: If something feels off, don’t dismiss it. Trust your gut.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no” to what doesn’t serve you.
Celebrate Your Growth: Reflect on the ways you’re healing, even when progress feels small.
When Sarah started trusting herself again, she stopped settling for partners who couldn’t show up for her.
🎧 Ready to Take the Next Step? Listen to ‘The 3 Breakthroughs That Will Transform Your Love Life Forever’ 🎧
If Sarah’s story resonates with you—if you’re tired of repeating the same painful patterns and ready to experience the love you deserve—this free audio training is for you.
🎧 In this session, you’ll learn:
✅ The Hidden Role of Your Patterns—and how to rewrite them for good.
✅ Why Attraction Isn’t Always the Answer—and how to prioritise emotional safety and alignment.
✅ The Power of Emotional Safety—so you can attract the healthy, fulfilling love you deserve.
If you’re feeling stuck like Sarah was, this free training is here to help you take that next step—just like she did.
Because you deserve to feel safe, valued, and truly loved—and that journey starts here.
Healing Takes Time—And That’s Okay
I know healing from betrayal isn’t easy. It takes time, courage, and patience. So if you’re still feeling hurt, angry, or stuck—that’s okay.
Sarah’s journey proves this is possible. She went from betrayal and self-doubt to trusting herself and attracting the aligned, safe love she truly deserved. And so can you.
✨ Your breakthrough is waiting. ✨
