Jemma’s Journey: Reclaiming Self-Worth and Emotional Freedom
Duration of Coaching: 1 month
Goal: To regain emotional clarity, let go of a toxic relationship, and build the confidence to prioritise her own needs and well-being.
Jemma came to me feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure of how to navigate life after leaving a toxic relationship. Having experienced burnout and a deep sense of responsibility for others, she struggled to prioritise herself, set boundaries, and fully let go of the past.
The Challenge
Feeling a sense of guilt when prioritising her needs over others, particularly her ex-partner.
Difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
A deep emotional connection to her ex, stemming from the highs and lows of a trauma bond.
Struggling to understand and process her emotions, often dismissing them or feeling unsure of how to meet her own needs.
A pervasive sense of “stuckness,” feeling like she was treading water without any clear direction or progress.
The Journey
1. Establishing Boundaries
Jemma began to set boundaries that protected her emotional energy. She recognised attempts by her ex to pull her into drama and actively chose not to engage. She also took meaningful steps to prioritise herself, such as declining social plans when she needed rest.
These small but significant actions helped her gain confidence in her ability to protect her well-being.
2. Gaining Clarity on the Relationship
Jemma explored the dynamics of her past relationship, recognising how trauma bonds and feelings of responsibility had kept her emotionally tethered. She started to understand the reality of the relationship and the importance of letting go for her own healing.
3. Reclaiming Emotional Freedom
One of Jemma’s most significant achievements was learning to validate and process her emotions. She discovered that:
Her feelings were valid and didn’t need to be dismissed or compared to others.
Emotions, even negative ones, are temporary and serve an important purpose in growth.
Taking time to understand her emotions allowed her to address what she truly needed.
Jemma embraced practices that helped her provide herself with comfort and reassurance, shifting her focus away from external validation.
4. Moving Through “Stuckness”
Jemma realised that her feelings of being stuck stemmed from an emotional freeze response connected to her past experiences. By understanding this, she began to take small but meaningful steps forward, such as experimenting with ways to meet her emotional needs and giving herself permission to feel without judgment.
5. Trusting Herself Again
A major milestone for Jemma was learning to trust her own decisions. She moved away from guilt and self-doubt, choosing to act in ways that aligned with her values and well-being.
For example, she recognised when interactions with her ex were unhealthy and actively chose to limit them. She also started to feel more confident in her ability to navigate emotions and make decisions for herself.
The Results
Setting boundaries with her ex-partner and choosing not to engage in drama.
Recognising and validating her emotions rather than dismissing them.
Understanding the dynamics of trauma bonds and their impact on her well-being.
Taking ownership of her healing journey by prioritising rest, self-care, and emotional clarity.
Trusting herself to make decisions that aligned with her needs and values.
Jemma’s Reflection
"It’s easy to forget how bad things felt when you’re in the middle of it. This process helped me gain clarity, set boundaries, and realise that my emotions are valid. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m prioritising myself in a healthy way."
Before Coaching
1. What challenges were you facing in your life or relationships before you started coaching?
Before working with Lily, I was struggling to move on from a toxic relationship. I felt stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, guilt, and confusion. I found myself questioning my worth, replaying past events, and feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, all while neglecting my own needs.
2. How were those challenges affecting your confidence, dating life, or overall wellbeing?
My confidence was at an all-time low. I often felt lost and disconnected, unsure of how to trust myself again. Physically, my body was showing the toll of trauma—I suffered from nausea, headaches, insomnia, and a constant sense of unease. Emotionally, I felt drained, as though I was treading water and not getting anywhere.
During Coaching
1. What did you find most helpful about the coaching process?
Lily’s approach was incredibly compassionate and tailored. Her ability to combine practical tools, emotional insight, and psychological understanding made the process feel safe and effective. I particularly appreciated the focus on identifying and overcoming triggers. Her coaching provided both immediate relief and long-term strategies for building resilience.
2. Were there any specific breakthroughs or insights that changed how you viewed yourself or your relationships?
One of the biggest breakthroughs for me was understanding that my need to “fix” or take responsibility for others stemmed from deeper patterns of codependency and a lack of self-prioritisation. Lily helped me see how my own emotional needs had been sidelined and guided me to reconnect with myself. I also realised the importance of boundaries—not just with others but with my own thoughts and behaviours.
Results and Transformation
1. How has your mindset or approach to relationships changed since coaching?
I now approach relationships with more clarity and confidence. I no longer feel the need to chase validation or prove my worth to others. Instead, I focus on what truly aligns with my values and well-being.
2. What are some specific outcomes or improvements you’ve experienced (e.g., confidence, boundaries, connection with a partner)?
Confidence: I’ve regained my sense of self-worth and trust in my own decisions.
Boundaries: I’ve learned to say no without guilt and to prioritise my own needs.
Health: Through hypnotherapy and other techniques, my physical symptoms—nausea, headaches, and insomnia—have significantly reduced.
Emotional Balance: I feel calmer, more present, and less consumed by guilt or anxiety.
Highlighting the Impact
1. How do you feel about yourself and your future relationships now compared to when you started coaching?
I feel hopeful and empowered. I know I deserve healthy, fulfilling relationships and that I have the tools to recognise and build them. I trust myself to make choices that honour my well-being.
2. If you had to summarise your coaching experience in a few sentences, what would you say?
Working with Lily was transformative. She provided the understanding, tools, and support I needed to break free from toxic patterns and rebuild my life. Her coaching not only helped me heal but also empowered me to create a stronger, healthier future.
Encouragement for Others
1. What would you say to someone who is considering working with Lily but feels unsure?
I would say, take the leap. Lily’s approach is warm, insightful, and tailored to your unique needs. She creates a safe space to explore your challenges and helps you uncover solutions that truly work for you. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and take back control of your life, Lily will guide you every step of the way.
Jemma’s journey is a testament to the power of self-awareness, emotional resilience, and the courage to prioritise one’s own well-being. She has taken the first steps toward creating a life of emotional freedom and self-worth, and her story inspires others to do the same.
Ready to start your journey?
Note: Names have been changed to protect client confidentiality. This story has been shared with the client’s permission.