10 Huge Red Flags To Spot In Online Conversations

Navigating the world of online dating can be exciting, but it also comes with unique challenges. While technology offers more ways than ever to meet potential partners, it also makes it easier for toxic behaviours to hide behind screens.

How can you spot the red flags that signal someone might not have your best intentions at heart?

In this guide, we’ll cover 10 critical red flags to watch for in online dating. These signs will help you protect yourself and recognise behaviours that could indicate manipulation, narcissism, or emotional unavailability.

1. They Only Talk About Themselves

Do they dominate the conversation without ever asking about you?

While some people may be nervous and ramble to fill silences, even shy individuals will show curiosity about you if they’re interested. A one-sided conversation is often a clue that they may lack empathy or are more focused on their own needs than building a connection.

2. They Never Talk About Themselves

Are they overly focused on learning about you but avoid sharing anything personal?

This behaviour can seem flattering at first—they're so fascinated by you! But in reality, it may be a tactic to gather information they can later use for manipulation. Be wary of someone who gives little insight into their life while probing deeply into yours.

3. They’re Hyper-Competitive

Pay attention to anyone who constantly tries to outshine you.

For instance, if you mention a favourite destination, they’ll claim they’ve been somewhere “better.” Or if you share a proud achievement, they’ll counter with something more impressive. This one-upmanship often signals insecurity and an inability to celebrate others’ success.

4. They’re Rude About Others

How do they talk about their friends, family, or colleagues?

Frequent criticism, belittling comments, or gossip about others can be a red flag. Someone who talks negatively about others now is likely to turn that same energy toward you in the future.

5. They Overwhelm You with Compliments

Everyone enjoys a kind word, but over-the-top flattery can signal trouble.

Statements like “I’ve never met anyone like you” or “You’re the most amazing person ever” might feel thrilling at first. But when it comes too soon—especially before meeting in person—it could be part of a love bombing strategy to make you feel emotionally dependent.

6. They Confide in You Too Early

Beware of someone sharing deeply personal stories or secrets soon after meeting.

This tactic, known as self-disclosure, is designed to make you feel special and trusted. In reality, it’s often used to encourage you to share your vulnerabilities, which they can later exploit. Healthy relationships develop trust gradually—not through oversharing in the first conversation.

7. Their Stories Don’t Add Up

Do their anecdotes feel inconsistent or overly polished?

For example, they might brag about luxurious holidays but have no photos to back up their claims. Or their timeline of events doesn’t make sense when compared to earlier conversations. These inconsistencies can be subtle indicators of dishonesty or exaggeration.

8. They Disguise Insults as Jokes

Casual put-downs or “banter” may seem harmless, but they can quickly escalate into emotional abuse.

If someone dismisses your discomfort with phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “It was just a joke,” pay attention. Genuine humour doesn’t leave you feeling belittled or confused.

Research shows that verbal aggression masked as humour is often a precursor to abusive behaviours. (Source)

9. They Rush to Sexual Topics

Are they overly focused on sexual conversations early on?

While discussing chemistry is natural, someone who repeatedly pushes the topic of sex or ignores your boundaries might be testing how much they can get away with. Manipulators often use sexual attraction as a distraction from other red flags.

10. They Blame All Their Exes

Do they describe every past partner as “crazy” or “toxic”?

This pattern suggests they lack accountability for their role in failed relationships. It’s unlikely they’ve been a saint while surrounded by chaos. Instead, they’re the common denominator in all those “toxic” relationships.

Why You Should Take These Red Flags Seriously

If any of these behaviours feel familiar, trust your instincts. Sometimes we’re drawn to people who feel “familiar” because they mirror past experiences—often unhealthy ones. Recognising these patterns is the first step toward breaking free from them.

Remember: it’s not your job to fix someone. If they show multiple red flags, it’s a clear signal to walk away.

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Recognising red flags is essential, but it’s only the beginning of creating the fulfilling relationship you deserve. The Love IQ Membership empowers you to:

• Spot manipulative behaviours with ease.

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• Create a personalised dating strategy to attract compatible, emotionally available partners.

Whether you’re navigating the dating scene, rebuilding after a toxic relationship, or seeking to deepen your self-awareness, the Love IQ Membership provides the tools you need to succeed.

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FAQ: Answering Your Questions About Online Dating Red Flags

Q: What are some subtle signs of manipulation in online dating?
A: Subtle signs include excessive flattery, probing personal questions too quickly, and inconsistencies in their stories. These behaviours often indicate ulterior motives.

Q: How can I spot a narcissist online?
A: Narcissists often show traits like dominating the conversation, avoiding accountability, or being overly critical of others.

Q: What if I’m not sure whether someone’s behaviour is a red flag?
A: Trust your instincts. If something feels off, step back and reflect. Tools like our Love IQ Membership can help you assess situations with clarity.

By applying these tips, you’ll approach online dating with confidence and clarity. Ready to transform your love life? Join the Love IQ Membership and start building the emotionally intelligent relationship you’ve always dreamed of.